Lessons in Patience

Posted bywordsandcoffee1Posted in#family, Motherhood, PoetryTags:, , , , , , , , , 
Patience is a virtue:
the restraint in the chaos,
the ticking of clocks 
heard from a great distance
until the sound is only 
a memory, like the 
whisper of the wind
enwrapping the yellow-tinged leaves
and tossing them into the 
sunbaked sky.
Patience is the calm before
the storm; 
the soothing serenade of moonlight 
scattered on the bedroom walls;
the simple act of shutting the screen,
slipping into a quiet room,
the rat race outside closed-off,
leaving a moment enclosed in time,
swaddled and held closely
like an infant.

Our daughter is 22 days old today! It’s been a whirlwind transitioning to a family of 6. One thing that’s funny is when my first son was born, our little world could essentially just stop for a bit as the three of us adjusted to everything at home. (Well, technically, my husband was back to work a few days later, so it was just baby and me for the most part.) My second born was so chill that he just eased into our family life. My third was born just before the pandemic and just before I started chemotherapy, so it seemed the entire world actually did shut down for him. However, for a fourth born, the world doesn’t stop at all! There are hockey practices and soccer tournaments and bus stop walks and grocery shopping that all needs to be done with a teeny tiny person in tow. It’s a little overwhelming, especially when you’re sleep-deprived, but it’s also eye-opening. Now I think I finally know how my youngest sister felt, being quite a few years younger than the rest of us and bopping along on every adventure.

All of this momentum reminds me to press pause when I can. Sure, the wheels will keep whirring, but maybe we don’t have to spin them quite as quickly. I get into a pattern often, where first I rush and probably (definitely) take on too much. Then, I press the brakes and try to spend more time on writing or self-care or one-on-one time with my kiddos or whatever has been lacking. Then, the cycle continues. Maybe it can no longer be called a cycle; maybe it’s just a constant balance beam of life. Strangely, I always assumed that I would find a perfect balance in life at some point. Instead, I’m realizing that the perfect solution doesn’t exist. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe that’s a part of becoming more patient.

21 thoughts on “Lessons in Patience”

  1. Mazal tov on your newest little one, Sarah! 🩵 Your line “swaddled and held closely / like an infant” feels even more touching now — such a beautiful reflection of both patience and love.

    Much love,
    David

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  9. Congratulations again on birth of the new little one, I still can’t believe you have a girl ! She is adorable as ever and also your husband’s mini haha, I am sure her brother is love her to bits.

    Interesting perspective on how the siblings must have felt loved reading, I always look forward to updates on your blog.

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