shimmer in the cerulean
holding out hope
for another day,
another year,
tomorrow yet again.
the waterfall bubbles
the way of emotions
all churned up and twisted,
boiled milk glazed over.
the thin veil clouding the top
of the hot chocolate mug,
the froth that pools
at the bottom,
and the hope that congeals
somewhere beneath the surface,
tender and uncertain.
It’s been a couple months since I’ve really been on WordPress. Work has been busy and overwhelming, but joy-filled overall. I did have difficulty returning to campus the first couple weeks; I just wanted to spend all day at home with my baby, and a few crazy thoughts crossed my mind: dreams of just throwing in the towel and moving our family off the grid to some place where we could afford to just live and not work so much. Beautiful impossibilities. Especially in this economy.
Family time has been wonderful whenever we can get it. I love watching the boys interact with their sister, and I love planning little family adventures around town or nearby. In a bold and naive move, we attempted to become a hockey family this past winter; it was expensive and meant an exorbitant amount of time dedicated to volunteering (47 hours of concession stand/rink cleaning/Zamboni/etc.!! on top of helping with every game). I mean, we did it. We survived, but damn. I don’t know how families can dedicate themselves wholeheartedly to a sport, especially one that aggressively consumes 5 months of the year. Maybe it’s because I’m clumsy and more dedicated to education than I’ll ever be to athletics. I mean, sports are fun, sure, but as a lifestyle? It’s 6/7. (Did I use that expression correctly?) Admittedly, I loved watching the boys enjoy themselves on the ice. Many families were kind. A few looked at us like we had three arms, maybe because we were outsiders, I guess? New to the game. We tried. And we’re apparently planning to try again next year. It’s amazing what you will do for the love of your children.
In other news, I’ve tried more than once to dedicate more time to reading and writing and physical activity, failed miserably a few times, and then refocused myself last week. I’ve abandoned my New Year’s Resolutions. Yes, already. In fact, by early February, they were blurs in the rearview. Generally, I tried to do too much without enough time, as usual. On our way back from our last hockey game of the season, an old lady neglected to notice the red light at an intersection and hit our car; everyone was okay, but I’ve spent a solid amount of time on the phone with insurance and the (fairly useless) AI systems that now run all phone calls to insurance companies. I’ve lost my cool on said phone calls. I’ve considered how I’d make a decent tragic hero if any fellow writers are looking for literary inspiration. I’ve baked butterscotch banana bread too many times to count.
Words and Coffee Writing 
Hockey is a hard sport to do casually, unlike softball, which I loved doing with my younger daughter. Or maybe the local Little League was just a laid-back one. Good luck–if your kids enjoy it, probably worth it. But it’s a lot.
Hopefully spring and summer will bring some more balance. (K)
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Yes, so true! I think it might be impossible to do casually, which is sort of heartbreaking in a way for families that can’t afford to jump into the full commitment (financially or due to time constraints).
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I enjoyed reading your update! It’s amazing you’ll try again next year for your kids. That’s so lovely! I’m glad the accident wasn’t major!!
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Thank you! Yes, we are really lucky in that account. I’ve had two car accidents in the last few years, but both were minor. Both involved someone else hitting me at an intersection while I was stopped for a red light, just innocently existing, lol. At least we are all safe! ❤️
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Woah! Yes thank God for that!
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Sarah, it sounds like 2026 has been a roller coaster. You are not alone. As for the car woes – insurance companies are out of control. They demand the premium payment on time but getting them to pay for repairs is like pulling teeth!!! Butterscotch banana bread sounds delicious! Would you be willing to share the recipe?
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It definitely has been! Insurance drives me crazy. They want so much money but never pay to cover anything, it seems. We’re going through the other person’s insurance, since they hit us, but the process was still so stressful: countless calls to our insurance and then to theirs and finally a plan after weeks. Also, it took me 4 calls just to get an appointment set up for car repairs because the insurance person the first 3 times didn’t bother to tell me there was an error appearing on their side (due to a typo in my email address of all things, apparently) that was blocking them from actually setting up/confirming the repair appointment.
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That sounds so typical! When my mother passed her estate was split evenly between us (me and 2 sisters). The banking corporation required notarized signatures. Because we lived in 3 different states the bank would accept one signature but because the others would be received staggered, they’d say that the first signature was “expired” and needed to be resubmitted! We went through about 4 signatures each before my sister threatened to get a lawyer involved! Suddenly they found all the signatures and they said they were all acceptable. The whole process took 14 months to resolve!!! I hope things are moving along without any additional glitches!
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How frustrating! Situations like these are so bizarre to me; I can’t tell if people are being cruel or completely inept. I feel like if I was an employee at that bank and my coworker said the signature “expired”, I would say, “That’s ridiculous. Let’s use our brains here.” 😅 I was so grateful to the insurance agent who finally told me that the error message was blocking any contact with the rental car company, but I also thought to myself, so, 3 other employees couldn’t be bothered to even mention that while I was on the phone with them? They thought ignoring the problem and pretending it would magically fix itself was the correct response? Oh boy.
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It is all tied to greed. They earn interest on the money as long as they control it… So they drag their feet and rake in the moolah!
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And here is the butterscotch banana bread recipe. It’s SO GOOD!
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups/3-4 ripe bananas
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup Greek yogurt (or sour cream)
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
3/4 cup butterscotch chips
optional: 3/4 cup pecans or walnuts
1. Preheat your oven to 325F and grease and line a 9×5 loaf pan with parchment paper.
2. In a bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.
3. In a separate bowl, mix together the melted butter and sugars for a minute or two. You can either use a whisk or an electric mixer.
4. Add in your mashed bananas followed by the eggs, yogurt/sour cream, and vanilla.
5. Once all of your wet ingredients are mixed together, fold in the dry ingredients. Then, fold in the butterscotch chips and nuts, if including them.
6. Pour the batter into your prepared loaf pan and spread it even.
7. Bake for 1 hour to 1 hour 15 minutes or until a toothpick comes out with a few moist crumbs. Let it cool completely before removing from the pan.
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Sarah this sounds delicious!! Thanks so much! I’m going to have to see if I have any butterscotch chips… of not they are going on the grocery list!!
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