Pull the tail of the slipknot
and let the string unspool,
its slim surface catching the breeze,
like so many words
called across the riverside.
Captured in sunlight,
the waves ripple and shimmer,
beckoning nearer,
lifting to touch the
strings of grass that
dance along the shoreline.
I find that I need structure, a little sunshine, and a good kick in the ass to get me going some days. Maybe that’s what everyone needs? Still, I’m finding it vital this summer. Today marks the first day of summer school for my 6-year-old and 8-year-old, and the first day of STEAM Camp for my 11-year-old. That just leaves the baby and me to our walks, gardening, writing, and other adventures (not that she actually does any of the walking, gardening, or writing, but she does tag along for all of the above, as seen on the right).
Returning to a schedule of some sort is a huge relief after a few weeks of summery chaos for myself and the younger three (and only one week for my oldest, whose school went into June– sorry, buddy). I use to crave a lack of structure. Or maybe I just told myself I did, because it seemed so carefree and cool. But, for the last couple years, I’ve had a more difficult time focusing without structure. I’ve wondered lately if maybe I was one of those undiagnosed Millennial women with ADHD (apparently, we’re not uncommon), because girls’ symptoms present differently than boys’ and people still hardly bother to include women in medical research in the flipping 21st century. Or if maybe cancer and its subsequent treatment simply emphasized some hormone-related emotional and executive regulation issues that made me feel internally less organized than ever before.
Either way, I now crave structure. Perhaps that’s why, as I logged into WordPress today, after more than two months MIA, I saw that I’ve posted on this day for the last three years. It’s a date that often falls in the first week of summer school for my kids, which is probably why I get the chance to log in and type up a storm after putting out various little fires during those early, unstructured weeks of summer vacation.
Without structure, I’ll have 19.5 tabs open on my laptop and 5 half-finished novels saved in various states across three programs. (Okay, so those things are still happening, but I’ve focused my attention to one WIP this summer.) I’ve got a to-do list in front of me, a cup of iced coffee in hand, some chill tunes, and a cute 8-month-old taking a nap nearby. Here’s to a productive and happy week. Wishing you all the same. 💗
Words and Coffee Writing 