The lens through which we see the world

Posted bywordsandcoffee1Posted inCancer, Poetry, Teaching, W3 PromptsTags:, , , , , , , , 
the camera reflects
the lens through which we see life
captured light
glistens bright
and speckles the soul
with sunbeams

fractured lens
the camera pretends
tells only half the story
squeezes hope
bitter note
looking for glory

heartened now
we are learning how
to share love
camera's hope
the story behind the lens
empathy
warm rays though treetops

This is my first attempt at a dormasha poem, created by David of The Skeptic’s Kaddish for the Wea’ve Written Weekly prompt.

  • Child of the Shadorma
    • (the Shadorma has a syllabic structure of 3/5/3/3/7/5 per line);
  • Any number of stanzas, just like the Shadorma;
  • At least one stanza must rearrange the order of the classic Shadorma’s syllabic lines;
    • (e.g., 5/3/7/3/5/3 or 3/3/3/7/5/5, 7/3/3/5/3/5, etc., etc.);
  • No two stanzas of the Dormasha can have the same syllabic line structure.

I’m not sure if I’ve crafted a dormasha correctly, but I tried. I’ve been thinking a lot about empathy. In one of my communication classes, we just wrapped our up cultural communication unit, in which we talk about intercultural communication and the co-cultures that make up our broader identity. An important component of intercultural communication competence is empathy, and, while looking for videos on the topic to share with my class, I found one that claimed “empaths” were a rare breed, composing only 2% of the population.

I guess I was guilty of construing “empathy” with “empaths” when I first came across that statistic as I found the number initially shocking. So small?! 2% is the same amount of the world population that is ginger; I acknowledge that my hair color is rare, but empaths can’t possibly be as uncommon as redheaded people! I dug a bit deeper. This article interested me as did this video about altruism that I actually showed to another class of students a few years ago.

My research answered some of my questions. Apparently, it’s accepted that about 20% of the population is empathetic, or understanding of how others feel. 2% are true empaths, who take on those feelings as their own. I found this incredibly interesting considering I’d recently read Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower in which the main character, Lauren, has a disorder called “hyper-empathy” in which she actually does take on the physical pains of others, to the extent where she will collapse if someone else breaks their leg, pass out if someone else is severely injured, etc. Empaths in the real world don’t function quite like that, but they will likely be introverted as they need time away to recharge from all the emotional input.

I’m not sure if I’m a true empath. I can typically tell when people are lying to me. I’m good at reading nonverbal cues and knowing how someone is feeling, but I also teach communication, so it’s part of my job. I’ve always been a good listener, and I never could handle watching or reading anything too violent; it makes me physically ill. I definitely love helping people; it’s practically my full-time job as a teacher, and I’m also really enjoying my more recent role as cancer advocate. My old oncologist, Dr. B., used to seem confused when I told him I wanted to start a support group at the cancer center or asked if he could pass on a list of resources I compiled for his other cancer patients under 40. “You need to focus on your own health,” he would tell me, looking concerned and a little bewildered. I can do both, I thought but never said aloud because I wasn’t actually sure if it was true. All I knew (and still know) is that it seems almost everyone could use a little more support, listening, and love. For a while, in the heart of cancer treatment, I was confused why it wasn’t a natural tendency for everyone to dole those qualities out to others. As treatment and the pandemic went on, I found myself turning outward at a time when everyone else was turning inward. People were generally more selfish than I’d thought, and this led me to my curiosity regarding empathy. I suppose I could ramble about this for a bit more, but I should really be grading essays right now; suffice to say, I think we could use a lot more empathy in this world. And quite a few more empaths.

22 thoughts on “The lens through which we see the world”

  3. It’s a real gift to read non-verbal clues. I am totally lacking in being able to read people–I know it, and my communication suffers because of it. It really is necessary to understanding. It’s not that many of us don’t want to understand–although I suppose some people don’t care–but if you can’t tell what people really mean from their expressions and tone, you are left only with trying to interpret the words, and (speaking from experience) you are going to be wrong a lot of the time. Which is why physical social interactions are so difficult for me, and I avoid them. (K)

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    1. That’s understandable. The communication class I teach also includes a nonverbal communication unit. This semester I had students interpret the nonverbal cues of actors in a show of their choice for one of their projects; they seemed to like it, and it’s fun practice since actors are more aware of nonverbals than most humans. Nonverbal cues convey at least 60% of our communication, so I work with students on identifying them and paying attention to their own. Long story short, it is teachable if you’re interested! 😊 It’s probably my favorite unit after the culture one.

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      1. My one experience with a therapist was asking her to learn to communicate better–but she said “I think you communicate fine”. I know it can be taught, and kudos to you for doing it.

        I once took one of those tests matching facial expressions with emotions and even when told what they were I couldn’t make the connection for a lot of them. So I need some intensive intervention. Probably a bit too late at this point.

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      2. Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry the therapist couldn’t offer some suggestions to help. I think anyone in the healthcare field should ideally be a decent nonverbal communicator as it could help them to appear more comforting and also learn more about their patients.

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  6. I don’t think I’m an empath 😂 and that’s not to say I don’t care about people! But I tend to shy from situations/happenings that’ll break my heart. If people around me are already empathizing over a sad situation much, crying about it etc. I take it is permission to bury my own feelings and let them do the hurting. But whenever I let myself feel those empathetic feelings, my depth of feelings usually shocks me. I enjoyed reading this! Food for thought 💭

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    1. Thanks! It sounds like you are an empathetic person if not an “official” empath 😁 I think many writers are empathetic because we’re naturally curious about humanity and can create characters with deep emotions.

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